Well. Its been two years since I’ve posted here. Guess I really haven’t had the inspiration to write for awhile.
My last post, as I read it, definitely reflects a very reactive mind of mine…while there are some valid points, I see myself just pointing out problems, obstacles, symptoms.
Its been interesting here. Lots of good things, amidst an encroaching loneliness compounded by lack of ability to move physically very far away. This town is pretty far from anywhere but Phoenix, or Vegas. But we know what those towns are about.
An intention to quit pretending I can drink like I did in my twenties has been set. I am building a good set of comrades that are supportive, and reciprocate to my feelings, ideas…and make me feel loved.
Readiness is a motivation. My son is, too. Health is wealth, right? It really truly is. Being able to experience pain, loss, love, joy, confusion, while being as present as one can be is a gift we shouldn’t push back with substances or habits. This is all part of the motivation(s) I see for myself. This is part of the life I choose to experience and live. With a full, bruised, damaged, but functional heart.
Nothing profound, just some reassurances to myself. These writings are proof to myself, digital evidence, clay pottery left in the 0’s and 1’s.